Call Me a Dick, but I hate your religiousity.

This might get inflammatory, but hear me out.

I’ve really wanted to change the tone of my blog. Sometimes I feel like all I do is make fun of things and I think that’s not the best use of my time, plus I’d rather the blog be about what I do rather than what I think. Unfortunately, things keep happening and either I post them here and allow myself to vent or I bang my head against the wall until I leave a blood stained hole, causing me to get evicted then loose my deposit and subsequently become a homeless vagabond. I thought it over. I hate these people.

I don’t care if posting this gets them more hits and then more mush-headed kids get involved. Maybe those kids might hear me out and realize that clearly these dopes are just that. Or not. Whatever. Anyways, follow along with my rant, if you like.

This a video advertising a religious group from Harrisonburg, VA. Where I went to college. Yea, I went to college and there ARE commercials for religion.

1- ‘The Movement has Begun.’ Oh really? Which one is that? Christianity? Good, glad to hear it. I was worried that it didn’t start 2,000 years ago. Or are you saying that yours is a new brand and that Jesus guy was a total hack? Clarify. Please.

2- ‘A highly creditable people. A highly creditable movement.’ *Snicker. I think you mean ‘credible.’ Maybe I’m splitting hairs, but although they have the same derivation creditable implies that it’s not necessarily good, but deserves some recognition. Unless that’s what Mark Lydecker thinks about you. At any rate, I wouldn’t start a commercial with a back handed compliment. To your credit, the graphics look sharp.

3- Hey Suzie Berndt, questioning college age students don’t accept dogmatic principles wrapped in rock music and social mixers. They question things.

4- Your name is Aaron Proffitt? Get effing real. You’re a guy spreading the ‘word’ and your name is Proffitt. I don’t mean to be rude, but since when did we live in a Dickens novel. Are you hanging out with Bernie Madoff by any chance?

5- I’ve always thought it good practice to be incredulous of people who say God has spoken to them, especially if their last name is Proffitt

6- Sound Biblical Orthodoxy w/ Relevancy. This is what I can garner from your video so far- Orthodoxy= Jesus is the one, Jesus is the one, Jesus is holy, He is the one, He’s super-duper…then something about holy (I’m paraphrasing from the lyrics I can hear/understand). Relevancy= Some amalgam of guitar riffs I’ve heard before and a smiling rock band that makes me feel like I’m cool. I’m cool, right? OO!! Is he singing through an auto-tuner? Just like an angel.

7- Christians dance less than Emo kids.

8- Relevancy, again. Is the hot-tub the relevant part?

9- So, you want to change the world? How about going to Darfur, rather than spreading Christianity to an already highly Christian and conservative area.

10- Hey older Proffitt, may I ask you how many of those kids coming to your Bible studies are being challenged or taking risks? What part of what you are offering is risky, or for that matter challenging? I bet dollars (lots of them) that the reason college kids come to your groups is because they feel alone, scared and confused. You aren’t challenging anyone. You’re offering a crutch. A bright pink crutch that makes them feel cool and accepted.

11- Expository Bible Study. What the hell other kind is there?

12- Dammit! Did they tell you to say ‘relevancy?’ Oh, you mean ‘rockin.’ Sorry.

13- Relevancy!! Stop saying that. The guy right next to you just said that!!

14- God is a great God. Well, good thing you picked the one you did. I’d hate for you to have one of those ones that curses his own creations. You know, like makes them one way then tells his followers that certain ones of his creations suck and then they all fight about it. Jeez, that kind of God would seem sadistic to me.

15- Does God need a commercial, or do you and your movement need one?

These guys get my hackles up so badly. They would smile at you, and ask to ‘rap’ about Jesus. Seriously, they said that. It’s not the fact that they have faith that bothers me, it’s the paper-thin, thoughtless evangelical mindset that steers them that aggravates me.

While reading in the Student Union, the one time I was there, one of them approached me. He had a neat little diagram of how Christianity worked. It was a Cross that bridged the gap between Heaven (where God at) and Earth (where we is). This was the depth of the ‘message.’ Accept Jesus and call yourself Christian and you will go to Heaven, nothing more, nothing less. You may be smiling when you say it, but it sounds like what you’re describing is Fascism. Smiling Fascism.