January 2012
1 post
Dr Pepper - The One Of A Kind Showcase →
This is what makes me ME. #DrPepper #ImA
November 2009
1 post
Well, finally! Someone making fun of Hipsters.
Where the Dirty Hipsters Are. It’s like Where the Wild Things are… but with hipsters. Which is kinda like Where the Wild Things Are. Let’s be honest, that movie is total hipster. Spike Jonze? Hipster. Karen O? Queen of the Hipsters. This parody is very meta. Which is pretty hipster of me to point out. Which is why I always say, ‘The only people who hate hipsters are...
October 2009
2 posts
2 tags
Ouch. My Brain
What WHAT? I heart this so much.
3 tags
Been in the woods?
Fall. Best season. By far. The woods turn color. Night rolls in a little earlier, giving space for all the ghoulish things that have been hibernating all summer. Mystery comes back into the world as we watch our breath curl out into the night. I love this season. My friend gave me an earful of Dead Man’s Bones over the weekend. I think it’s pretty great.
September 2009
19 posts
3 tags
Another day older and deeper in debt
Had a great birthday. And then, how long will this song be stuck in my head? Probably forever.
Happy Friday. Go outside.
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes- Up From...
Wisdom comes with age-
It does not necessarily follow that the aged have any wisdom, but generally…anyways something occurred to me.
Have you ever heard someone say, “If I had to do it over, I’d do it all the same?” I’ve heard it and I think these people are either not thinking about what they’re saying or they’re absolutely nuts. If I were given the chance to do it again,...
2 tags
Happy Birthday... psyche.
The new trend in Birthday Cards is to confuse whoever you’re sending it to. It’s my Birthday today and I’m loving the attention. But why is it birthday cards come in two varieties, schmaltzy and mean?
I got one that’s like, hey you get money- psyche! The dog ate it. Then I got another one that was like, hey open me- psyche! you can’t open this card. Arg!! Now,...
Best ten bucks I've spent in awhile.
Okay, I bought my girlfriend’s ticket too, but I still stand by that statement. Actually, I awkwardly dance in a crowded room where lots of other people stand by that statement.
Last night Jenn and I headed down to see Fanfarlo at the Bell House. I hadn’t heard too much of them, but what I heard I liked. And they’re great.
But you know what? The opening act was, was,...
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm...
Are those tears of joy or sadness welling up in your eyes? Or is that some sort of autonomic response brought about by years of evolution to protect your brain from the site of the absolutely absurd?
Figure on that, then go check out People of Walmart if you ain’t been there yet. Yes, another one of those wonderful blogs aggregating all the reasons I’ve lost faith in Democracy.
...
Cigarette Companies Development Sense of Irony
My birthday is coming up on Thursday. Did you know that? Well, guess who did-
It seems to be saying Happy Birthday, too bad we haven’t killed you yet. Thanks, Camel. You are so dear to my heart too. Nothing says, birthdays are just another step closer to death like a birthday card from a cigarette company.
How did I end up with this absurd thing? Well. I was at a bar with a bunch of...
clubTwitter!!
I’ve gone and joined twitter. Now you can follow my latest brainfarts, in real time! Hurray!
No, my screenname isn’t clubAaron. Some one already got that. The proud owner of clubAaron? Well, that’s Heo Jung Woo. Total number of tweets? ZERO!! Followers? 2. Hey, why don’t you give me that moniker, ya jerk. You’re not using it.
Since Heo Jung Woo is a jerk, you...
Run and Pass and Score?
Dear The Redskins,
We’ve been together along time. I think we’ve had our shares of ups and downs. Recently, it’s been mostly down though and I think it’s time that we take a step back and reaccess things.
Ever since I was little, tiny, minuscule even, the colors maroon and gold have made me happy. I would get excited as the season started, your colors so entrenched...
Why are you reading this blog?
You should be here.
You’ve been waiting for that movie for so, so long. Just click the link. Just have a good time.
I’m sick and need to go get some fluids. So, you read that blog.
T.G.I.F.
Nothing makes you feel more American that making fun of the French. And today I say, In your snooty, cheese-eating faces!!
Sometimes I feel a little backwards compared to Europeans. They have the metric system, we have the…whatever system. Really, what’s that called? They have socialized healthcare, we have a fear of communism or socialism so ingrained that we’d, seriously,...
Finally, what you've been waiting for.
Took awhile, right?
Joe Wilson can't do math
I figured out why Joe Wilson yelled his famous “You Lie!”. No, it wasn’t because he’s racist. Nor is it b/c what the President was talking about was a very divisive issue. I think, it’s because Joe Wilson has gotten enough donations from his supporters to cover Health Care for the rest of time and he couldn’t think of any other way to bring the limelight his...
Eddie Izzard has sexier legs than you.
Dame Edna + Lance Armstrong = Eddie Izzard.
So, Eddie Izzard just ran more in a little over a month than I will in my entire life. Just wow.
Eddie Izzard totally rules. I haven’t had the urge to wear women’s clothes since that horrible day when I was five and my mother found me trying on her pumps. I can still hear her laughter, echoing in my head. And the pictures! The...
2 tags
Kid Cudi- Embrace the Martian
Aw, sh!t. Now I definitely want chickens
I live in Brooklyn. My neighbor has chickens and I’m jealous. But, not as jealous as I am as I of THIS.
I don’t know if it’s a joke and I don’t care.
Wait. What am I jealous of? The girls? The chickens? The… I just want to be involved in a picture like that. I want to have thought of it.
Shooting stuff, YAY!!
So, Idaho is shooting wolves. Why? Because it’s fun. Okay, actually it’s because they were reintroduced to the area with great success and now they’re screwing things up again. Sure you might argue- who’s really screwing things up, us or them? I might counter that animals drive each other to extinction too. The wolves are not sitting there thinking, “boy we should...
I Love a Good Rumor
Jeez, do I ever love a rumor. Who doesn’t, right? I absolutely adore a good urban legend. Nothing gets the mind burning like unfounded knowledge.
I’ve been cruising through Snopes and I found this great article. It finally answered the question- why is it when I go to a BBQ joint there’s bound to be a picture of a really happy pig? Does he know where he is? Oh, he knows....
Whoa!
The Doctor- “It’s actually been 12 months, not 12 minutes. Sorry.”
So, time travel is a bitch. This guy showed up at my house in friggin, police box and then we went on one crazy adventure after another. We traversed the cosmos! We saw the end of the world! We… wait. That’s Dr. Who, not me. I’ve been here the whole time. Well, poop. On an equally exciting...
July 2009
13 posts
Screaming guy on the Corner: Lawrence Ladouceur
Everwonderfulgirlfriend Jenn sent me this great video today. I thought I’d share. It’s a shortish interview with Williamsburg’s disgruntled giant. You’ll find him every so often at the corner of Bedford and N 7th Street, right where the subway lets out yelling about one thing or another with everything he’s got. Everytime I’ve come across him he’s...
I'm Not as Smart as I Think I am.
Sometimes I think I’m so dang smart. I sarcastically say something and chortle to myself if someone doesn’t get my reference. “Rube,” I think. What I say is always pointed and clear. It’s your fault for not getting it. Just like if you don’t get the jokes here at ClubAaron, it is not my fault. It’s yours. If you get them and just find them not as funny as...
The Naked Cowboy is Lame; also he's running for...
I will never hide my dislike for Time Square or anything in it. TRL? Short for terrible? Glad you finally noticed. I haven’t cared about Broadway since all the plays have become remakes of Disney movies. Then, of course, there’s New York’s most photographed tourist trap since we all stopped paying attention to cultural relevance- The Naked Cowboy. I’m not linking to his...
Productivity.
Um. I have no idea how to explain this other than the word scaryawesomebonergoodtimehilarious.
If this doesn’t make your day, you are not friends with me nor will you ever be.
I wish I Were Black
I am by no means some closet, self-loather. I am proud of who I am but I think everyone can agree with me, that every once in awhile we look at people of a different race or whatever with a little jealousy. Admit it. Or… am I the only one? Someone back me up on this.
Well, today I wish I were a Dangerous Negro.
Really, the thing that got my attention was this design. I’m not a big...
Bee Update!!
Remember that time I played with bees?
Totally making honey now!! Get your Brooklyn Honey.
Call Me a Dick, but I hate your religiousity.
This might get inflammatory, but hear me out.
I’ve really wanted to change the tone of my blog. Sometimes I feel like all I do is make fun of things and I think that’s not the best use of my time, plus I’d rather the blog be about what I do rather than what I think. Unfortunately, things keep happening and either I post them here and allow myself to vent or I bang my head...
Bikes and Humble Pie
Remember that time I built a bike and thought I was so awesome? Yea, neither do I. Luckily I have a blog that records everything.
Turns out I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to bikes. I was going to grease the headset today…because I overlooked that before. Well, I have destroyed the interior of the headset. All the bearings went spilling all over the place, shards of torn...
Michael Jackson's Ghost
No, not the ghost of Michael Jackson. It’s Michael Jackson’s ghost. Like Michael Jackson’s chimp or Michael Jackson’s ferris wheel.
Michael wasn’t successful in his bid to buy the Elephant Man’s skeleton but he was able to get a ghost.
What do you mean, get real? YOU get real. Look at this man’s life. Michael Jackson could have easily owned a...
You're Bad at Your Job- Set your phasers to...
The Sci-Fi network is about to enter the anals…excuse me, annals of really bad jokes. We all have a friend whose mom was a teacher and they had a kid named Shithead or Asswipe (those are pronounced Shuh-theed and Azz-weep-eh). Ha, ha. That’s nothing.
The lunk heads over at Sci-Fi were too busy patting themselves on the back for programming Battlestar Galactica to notice they...
Good Monday!
It’s a good day here in Brooklyn. Beautiful outside. I went to yoga this morning and tried to do a hand stand…not too successfully. I’m a big fan of yoga, or anything else that encourages me to role around, stand on my head or act like a little kid. I like the yoga pose where you lay on your back and hold your toes and basically wobble around like a fat baby. No idea what...
I Thought I was on Drugs
Turns out I wasn’t.
How the heck did this piece of genius slip by?
Joke #1- Guess it went under the radar.
Joke #2- It was on tiptoe.
Joke #3- Wait, Gary Oldman is playing a dwarf? Role of a lifetime? dubya tee eff?
TMI?
A rotten smell has been following me around for a couple days. I thought there was something in my room. So, I picked up. I thought maybe it was my laundry. So, I washed it. Then I went to my girlfriend’s. The smell remained. First she said it was my hair, left side. So, I washed my hair. The smell was still there. So Jenn gave me another few sniffs. It was my ear.
The rotten smell was...
June 2009
12 posts
It Has Come to My Attention
“It Has Come to My Attention”
-a poem by Aaron S. Hitchcock.
It has come to my attention, friends
That all our struggling never ends.
We flounder, paddle and tread water
Never seeming to get much farther.
There is no shore, no beach or bank,
All the boats have long since sank.
Noah’s gone and so’s his ark
to leave us here from dawn ‘til dark.
Swimmers...
Liar!
Liar, liar, face on fire.
Let me get this straight- you fell asleep while someone was tattooing your face? No, what really happened is you thought this would be really cool and then realized, nope it’s not. Fell asleep with an electric needle pulsing against your face? Liar.
Scary Friday!!
I was catching up on google reader- that thing that aggregates the 2000 boing boing blogposts I’ve missed over the last week- and I found this video posted on Kitsune Noir. I think I’ve posted a couple things from that blog.
This video may startle or scare you. And no, when the penguin airships start flying around, you are not on drugs nor is it a trick. I’m pretty sure...
Togas and Beach Parties
Tuesday: I was an Atlantean. I dressed up and ran around on the beach at Ft. Tilden. Why? Because I was asked to. It’s for Mystery Quest, a show on History Channel.
Jealous? Well, here’s some extra pictures from Ft. Tilden.
Our marvelous changing rooms-
Confused fisherman-
I have no idea when the show airs. But dammit, someone better TiVO that.
Time Warner Cabal
Dear Time Warner Cable,
You must, at this point, realize you are a monopoly and your service is terrible. I would love to take my business elsewhere, but I don’t know how and I am afraid of the price. Did you realize that internet connectivity is almost a necessity at this point? Like electricity it runs a great deal of the things in my life. It keeps me connected, it helps me find work...
Breakfast of Champions
I’ve been a little busy. I’m feeling run-down. So, I made this. Not too fancy, but awesome.
Strawberries from the farmer’s market. Honey is too. Local honey. Real local honey. Street Honey. Tough honey. Stuff is faaaaaantastic.
You Know It's a Classy Party When...
Bathroom graffiti
Things that are making me puke on Saturday
So, Bond is so cool he’s a popsicle. Awesome.
Anybody notice that he still has a bulge? Way to go Del-monte. Ya, pervs.
How to win your girl
So, I was watching this video on Phil’s Blog through Kenny’s blog. It cracked me up so much I wanted it on my blog.
Let me just say- I have also tried some overblown stunts in my day. One girl broke up with me the very next day. In conclusion, I don’t understand girls. Buy you flowers, do something small and thoughtful? I’m a man, baby!! And us men think big!! We burn...
A World Of Pure Imagination
I told you to go see Ernesto Neto at the Armory. I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to come see the dance performance there yesterday. It was easily, one of the coolest things I’ve seen in years. I wasn’t allowed to take pictures during the performance, but I took some pictures of the installation. It is one of the most sensuous experiences you will get to walk through.
...
Chinese slated to produce Hummers somewhere other...
Sorry, had to do it.
So, yea. Not only has America sold Budweiser to the Germans. GM went and sold the Hummer to the Chinese.
What next? Are we going to give the rights to apple pie to the Russians? Maybe we could sell Country Music Television to the Japanese. I’d be down with that.
Yet another sign of the recession-
I may never be financially savvy. There’s a good chance I may be poor for the rest of my life. This only scares me a little. I figure I get pretty resourceful when the chips are down, so maybe that’s the best way for me to live. Lately, I keep reading about how ‘savvy’ New Yorkers get resourceful. It drives me nuts to hear how people with actual savings or even jobs are...
May 2009
18 posts
Mavis Staples- Freedom Highway
Sing it.
Signs of the End Times
Well, it’s official. The world is coming to an end. That’s right- Bono, Julie Taymor and Marvel Comics have finally conspired to doom us all to hell and damnation. Thanks.
I mean, I lost respect for Crazy-Bono and his boy-i-wish-were-Jesus music along time ago and I know we all think that Julie Taymor’s ‘Lion King’ was the most creative thing since we forgot...